"I feel like i was so much wiser when i was 17, two shades, didn't sit in the space between"
A year ago life was a lot simpler, lighter, everything seemed to not have as much weight. Call it naivete but with age naivete is slowly left behind.
Knowledge wielded without wisdom is a burden.
you grow keen to your shortcomings, lacking the wisdom to fix them or know you aren't meant for fixing.
what you do speaks louder than any microphone. it can feel paralyzing.
you stop loving yourself, you stop believing actions are redeemable. you run from it all. if they chase after, they love you. but keep running if they catch up you're dead. if they get tired they weren't meant to be.
i felt wiser when i was 17. maybe my ignorance acted a sage. but all sages start as fools, don't they. where else is there to start.
Humility begins. I don't know it all and that's okay, as long as I'm doing my best with what I've got.
It gets better. Anxiety comes in waves and even though it may feel like I'm drowning I'm not. No storm lasts forever. This too shall pass. I'm learning to swallow my pride and let someone be my life preserver every once in awhile. Letting people help you isn't as bad as it might seem. I'm not weak.