February 13, 2020

I am a master of deception, a con man, a deceiver. Not on purpose, of course.


Infinite universes exist for and about each person, we all create our own reality both for ourselves and for others. Undoubtedly, I represent a different image in the realities of everyone I meet. The situation, my actions and reactions, and others’ behavior all impact the image I impose on other people. The catch? The "me" being constantly shaped in these realities is as they say "up to interpretation". Abstract, unpredictable, and worst of all, out of my control. Reality in itself remains in flux, the universe fluid. The interpreters living inside our minds have no master as they create their own alternate universe. Who I am in any reality, including my own, is changing and rather hard to keep up with. 


The thought that we all create alternate universes is a very familiar one but one often dismissed because it sounds like a fairytale. Maybe we entertain the idea of alternate universes because most of us are all too aware of how different the world is to every person around us, but the fact that we really have no control over the creation of these worlds, sometimes even our own, terrifying.


With all of these created images in our lives, we have to be careful. If not, we’ll end up reduced to a ball, crouched on a kitchen tile, crying to our best friend, our trusty dog Blu, about how he is the only one who understands the exhaustion that comes with the pursuit of perfection.   


A lesson learned born from the kitchen floor:

Everyone's "perfect" is different. Weird right? Imagine trying to embody the perfection that exists differently in each of these infinite universes. It's like trying to win a game without knowing the rules and you don't have the rule book. Not to mention everyone is writing their own rule book and the rules change as fast as you seem to gain your bearings. 

How to win: quit the game.

Start writing your own book and you'd be surprised how quickly your universe is turned upside-down.

Stop trying to be the Swiss army knife.

As soon as I quit the game, my one-dimensional world became a limitless platform on which I am free to create any reality my mind can conjure. 


As for the reality I have chosen to live in, I have finally accepted my paradoxical nature: a reformed perfectionist. I’m trying my hardest to make the most of all opportunities because they can lead to amazing experiences. I care about people with my whole heart, which means often giving more than taking. I love to learn constantly, but the more I learn the more I realize there is so much more to this world than anyone can even begin to comprehend-- infinitely more.  


So, I take the best and build, take the worst and learn, but never stop trying because the biggest mistake I ever made was becoming mired in everyone else’s idea and ideal of me. I now understand that this “perfect” me doesn’t and shouldn’t exist. Opening my mind to the countless universes, including failure, becomes incredibly awe-inspiring, because now I know these infinite universes also come with infinite opportunity. 


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